Dear Nikki

An open letter to nikki.  That should have been posted a while ago.

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Dreams

Last night I had a dream..

I woke up next to you, in your bed, you were still asleep. I leaned over and gave you a kiss. You muttered something that sounded like approval and then went back to sleep. I laid there for a few minutes listening to your rhythmic breathing.

Then I went to your kitchen and made coffee. While I was waiting for coffee I was looking around your kitchen. Every plate, Every Cup had a story behind it.

I made 2 cups of coffee and went back to the bed room, Yours just the way that you like it.

When I got to your bed room you were not there. In fact your bed was not there. When I looked again it was not your bedroom at all It was mine.  And I was not asleep.

It was 6am and I was standing in my room with 2 cups of coffee in my hands, alone. One cup of course was just the way you like it.

If..

If you love something, set it free; if it comes backs it's yours, if it doesn't, it never was.

-Anonymous

You know I have said that to my self 100's of times over my life. And I can not remember anything ever comming back.

To Pet Owners thinking of ...

To Pet Owners thinking of ...

Saw this on Craigs List and decided that I Really wanted it here. For anyone that is about to get a pet, or it thinking of giving up there pet.. Read this......

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A Cup of Joe - The Rabbit Died

A Cup of Joe - The Rabbit Died

Since he did the HORABLE thing called ugrading to new software I can not post to his web site. BUT :

Let me be the FIRST to say it here!

CONGRATULATIONS!

May the next 19 years of your life be happy ones. Course if they arn't then you have the option to kick him/her out after that! :)

What a day

Ok so I was going to take Bri to the dentist today. Which I did. So 200.00 later and a very brave little girl, she had finished with a baby root canal. Fuck me. They said root Canal and I wigged. I was like NO way! It is a baby tooth pull it, I will not let my daugher go through that.

So the doctor knew that I had had one. And sat me down to talk to me about it and explain it alittle more. Baby Root canals are NOT like adult ones, althouh they SOUND bad, and they are bad, there nothing like the REAL ones.

See what happened..... Bri's baby tooth that is about to come out got cracked by the tooth comming in below it. In turn the piece that cracked cracked INTO another baby tooth that is not due to come out for another year. (I REALLY do not remember loosing teeth at age 8 but I can not remember my age most of the time)

So that is all done. And for the low low price of 200. That is with my insurance. With out my Insurance, yes I had to ask, 965.

Ok Enought about that. Since I brought up Memory. Lets talk about that really quick. I lost my bible. Well it is not lost I just have no idea where it is. Not that it mattered much since the data in it got courpt not too long ago. Oh wait. Let me clear something up. My bible is what I call my current in use Daytimer.

Over the last 5 years I have had 10 Daytimers, ending with my Palm Pilot that I got in 2001 at Christmas. (Present for my self) I have every one. Some are big, and I used them as my wallet, and did not carry a wallet.

3ish weeks ago. My palm got courpt. That database screwed up... Wait for it... It is GOOD!...

My Yahoo Database.
Palm Desktop at work
Palm Desktop at home
Outlook At home
Linux Backup at home
Evoultion at home

Now you ask... HOW? Well From what I can tell It started at work where the bad data happened. Then when I took it home to sync, My home pc shredded everything else. SO.. That is 6 packups and the palm that were lost. Then 2 days later my cell phone was fubared. ALL numbers GONE. So Where am I going with all this? Where the hell am I going. OH. Now I have no idea where the palm is. Not that it matters much since my phone has all my important numbers in it now. And I have a Plain Jane Daytimer that I pulled out of the closet. Think since my plam is old, and not up to date so to speak, I am gonna go back to using my daytimer.

What a LONG post about nothing. Damn almost like the good old days where I would rant and rant and no one knew what the hell I was talking about.

3rd Grade

So First day of 3rd grade is over. (Well not over, going on right now.) I did the parent thing and took pictures. Not many but a few. You can see them here if you want.

The ex wife came over at 7:20 and we took her to her first day together. It actually was civil. She has some clothes over there that she wants me to have here, Offered money for lunches with out me asking, etc. And that was good, because I REALLY did not want to deal with a fight this morning.

It is strange that the summer is now officially over. I had a GREAT summer, and I really don't want it to end. BUT... All good things... Now it is time for me to get back in the swing of things. Bri is ready for it, I need to be.

Bri and I had the talk about the house again last night. The one where I tell her that I do need help keeping it clean and pretty. This morning she unloaded the dishwasher and loaded last nights plates in there with out me asking. VERY happy about that. And another good thing when M (The ex) got there, she went on and on about how nice the house looked and how cool my wine rack was and the pictures on the wall... I have been depressed about the house lately. Mainly I think because I have not had anyone over in a while. Nikki has not been over in a while. J has not been there in at least 3 months. The only person that has been there is Bri and C. And C does not count he does not notice things like that.

So summer is gone. Time to start being an adult again. Bed times have to be made final. Clothes have to be laid out. No more staying up till midnight watching the stars. Now it is just work and school. I know there will be play in there as well, but right now it just does not feel like it much. I guess time will tell. Course still looking forward to a Saturday with Nikki. Nikki: 2 weeks? :)

Here we go again

I get told a lot that I do not stick with software for very long. One of the people that tell me that most ofter is J, at a cup of joe. He seams to love the fact that I always switch my email software. Although the reason started this last time because of a forced change, and I have still not gotten comfy.

Well now I am going to end up doing it agian. Although it is more of an upgrade then a change. I am switching my boxes at home over to Fedora, Formally Redhat. And I have a new server for the house so everything on pegasus.bbs.us will be all funky starting out soon. Not that any of you that read this would go there for anything other than the gallery.

So here I go again. And since I am changing I am also going to change all the software that I run over there. (Cept the gallery I like that)

I really thought that this post was going to go somewhere but it did not. And now I am done.

I was right.

So yesterday sucked ass. Everything that I touched turned to shit. And it started early in the morning, and continued until after dinner. I don't feel like going into it but it was just abunch of little things that compounded into a bad day.



Then when I picked up Bri we went to walmart and got Lobster. (End of summer thing) Mental note.. no matter how good the crawfish look at walmart DO NOT BUY Them. So because I am not aloud spend money, we got one big lobster and 2 pounds of crawfish. They LOOKED GOOD. Hell see for your self here. Note these were talken with my Cell phone, and when I uploaded them Windows Streched them.

SO enought about that. You are going crazy to know where this is all going. Well bad mood. Blog. Well not really blog, as I was not going to. But I started doing a new layout. The picture on the right is the basis of the new layout. I am going to use it for Pegasus Computers, and this site. No idea what it will look like thought. you will just have to wait and see. But I am sure that it will be dark. :)

Prince is KING

Prince is still the King. Last night I was 25 feet away from him and Nikki and I could not stop dancing to him. He rules that is all there is to it. This is the play list... :)

Musicology
Let's Go Crazy
I Would Die 4 U
When Doves Cry
Baby I'm A Star!
Shhh
D.M.S.R
I Feel 4 U
Controversy
What a Wonderful World
Instrumental Keyboard solo by Renato Neto (something from Parade?)

(Acoustic set probably not in this order, sorry, can't remember!)
Little Red Corvette
Alphabet St.
I Wanna Be your Lover
Prince and the Band(?)
Peach (?)
I Could Never Take the Place of Your Man
The Rules (?)
On the Couch
Sweet Thing
Adore (maybe? I might be confusing the SA show here)
7

Sign O' The Times
Whole Lotta Love
Let's Work
U Got The Look
Life O' The Party
Knock On Wood
Kiss
Take Me With U

Call my Name
Purple Rain

Nikki found this. To be honest I can not remember I just Danced and Sang. OH MY GOD. If I was gay...

mobog

Well I finally got a new phone. AND it has a camera. AND since the plan that I joined up with lets me email as many photos as I want.... :) I joined mobog.com..

Now if you are REALLY boored you can see what I see on my "Adventures" in life. Too bad I did not have this last week. THAT would have been umm.. interesting. :)

3rd grade

So I am sitting here trying to get caught back up after a week off of work. And suddenly it hit me like a ton of bricks. Bri is going into the 3rd grade in less than 2 weeks. Fuck!

3rd grade. I keep saying that over and over. Now if you do not have children then you are saying to your self so what. Just 3rd grade she is old enough and it is time for her to go to school what is the big deal.

Think back....

Kindergarten: DO you remember it? The only things that I remember about K was that I had a MASSIVE Crush on my Teacher, (Miss Zobject, Married when I was in 1st grade and I never forgave her she should have waited for me) and that glue was not for eating.

1st: I do not remember my Teacher what I did or anything. But I do remember Miss Z got married and again SHE COULD HAVE WAITED FOR ME!

2nd: Teacher was Mrs Becuanan, Very Nice Black lady. Well nice at the beginning, but when I peed in my pants in the middle of the class room she was never nice to me again. SO what do I remember about 2nd grade? Peeing in my Pants in front of everyone, and learning that I can walk home from school with out anyone's permission.

3rd grade. THAT is where it all came together. Homework actually was work. Friends that you made were actually your friends for the rest of your school, and enemies were just that. Hated Foe's that you had to see every day even if you did not want to.

First Kiss, Kerri Atwood. At school right out side the Gym. I will never forget my first kiss. Funny because I forgot about all the other ones that I had that year. But I remember the first.

First "Doctor", June Williams. At school under the Fort. I think I might have kissed her, but I don't remember BUT I DO remember her lifting her dress so that Tony and I could see. :)

First REAL Best Friend. Tony... (I will not use his last name as I DON'T want him to find me) He and I were friends even after High school. We went to 2nd grade together, but 3rd grade was when we got tight. Hell I even let him in on my Doctor session with June. Now THAT is a friend.

I learned that Prejudice was bad, and that God did not keep black people in the oven longer than white people.

I learned that Kids could sue the School district for no real reason. Can't remember what the kid (& her parents) sued for but I do remember everyone at school and my family talking about what a waste it was.

I learned that if you are a latchkey kid, and there is a robber in the house NOT to scream and run. But LEAVE quietly so that the Police can arrest the baddie.

I learned that if you go to the Creek for 8 hours with out telling anyone you parents will call the same officer that "rescued" you the week before, and he will have a helicopter find you.

I learned that if your sister tells you that the ice is too thin for you to walk on then it actually is.

I learned that Gas will indeed burn on top of water.

I learned that taking a Turtle to school is not a good idea, same with Lizards, Dogs, Cats, and Baby Birds.

See 3rd grade (for me) was where it ALL came together. Where I became a person. Scratch that, Where I became my OWN person. Where I started thinking for my self. Hey I did not say all my choices were good, but they were MINE.

And now in 2 weeks my daughter is going to start her road. And she only has me to rely on to guide her. Up until now I had not really thought about Me being the only real parent. Now though I wonder if I have the Brains, balls, and feelings to pull it off and become the one person that she trusts.

Shit, Talk about fucking Pressure.

And I still have to finish her Office. I have her Linux Box up and running, but she does not have a Desk yet. 2 weeks and counting. 3rd Grade. Damn. Here's to hoping that the Choices I have made so far are correct, and the ones that I make in the future are as well. Here's to hoping that bri is a 200% better person then I could ever be. Here's to hoping that I don't fuck up.